The Monthly Pessimist: Hallway traffic worse than highway traffic

Nov. 8, 2018

By Joe Sandomenico
Staff Writer

Don’t you hate it when the bell rings and you just want to get to your next class so you can learn… but you can’t? Why? Because other students are making it nearly impossible to move through LHS’ hallways. It’s especially frustrating when your class is on the other side of the school, and the turtles trudging along in the halls nearly make you late.

There are two types of people that cause unnecessary hallway traffic: the oblivious roamers and the lazy strollers. There is nothing worse than those students in front of you who are on their phones or talking with their friends.

They are walking at a snail’s pace, and they do not even realize that there is someone behind them who actually wants to get to class. And if you are that kid who wants to get to class and that traffic is not moving, good luck to you, because unless you start throwing elbows, you will not be getting anywhere.

Is it not absolutely delightful when the person in front of you looks like a kid in the candy store just strolling along without a care in the world? Then you start looking for the reason why they are walking about negative 5 miles per hour, and you see that their legs are moving so slowly it looks like they are in space.

Those are the type of people who are so lazy that they do not want to use an ounce of their energy on getting to class. These people are even worse than the oblivious ones because at least obliviousness is a personal trait that is hard to control. There are plenty of places where it is okay to be lazy, but the hallways are not among them.

The best part about hallway traffic is that it is probably the most unnecessary occurrence known to man. It really is not that difficult to walk at a normal-to-fast pace.

I am almost positive that there are more fun and interesting things going on inside the classroom than in the halls, so why would you want to linger in LHS’ corridors and then worry about being late?

I am not a fan of driving, but I think I would rather be stuck in traffic on the highway rather than in the high school’s hallways. Come on people, let’s just get to class already!