The Monthly Pessimist: Giving winter the ‘cold shoulder’

Jan. 11, 2019




By Joe Sandomenico
Staff Writer

There are a lot of people out there who like to take a step outside, and the first thing they do is breathe out so they can see a cloud of condensation form before their eyes. There are also a lot of people who are in love with the sight of a white blanket covering the ground. I, for one, am not one of “those people.”

There are many associations that come with each season: spring and life, summer and warmth, autumn and color… and let’s not forget about winter and death. This is just one of the reasons I am not a huge fan of the winter. I like to actually feel alive.

My first major problem with winter is the fact that people love it. I would like to know the benefits of shoveling every time it snows and how much fun it is to drive in it. Sure, shoveling is great exercise, but it is a tedious, time-consuming task, and I have never met anyone who enjoys it. If you want a good workout, you can just go the gym… which you obviously can’t do because of the snow.

I can safely say I have not yet driven in the snow, and I can promise you I’m not looking forward to it. I can tell you, however, how annoying cleaning off a car is, especially since I am a stickler for cleanliness. The most irritating thing about it is when the snow gets stuck in the rims of the car, and I just want to kick the tire because I don’t know why it couldn’t have just gone the other way onto the ground.

Here is a not-so-funny story: one of my family members was stuck in a car on the highway in the snow for almost 10 hours. I will let everyone use their imagination to think about what else happened during that car ride.

What bothers me the most is when people say they want a “white Christmas.” No, you absolutely do not want a white Christmas, unless you don’t have the responsibility of shoveling. I guess you could say I’m a Scrooge, but oh well.

I find it ironic that my birthday is in the winter, and I still don’t like this season. It is also surprising that I like celebrating other people’s birthdays but not my own. I really do not like being reminded that I am one year closer to death, which is pretty appropriate considering it’s winter. But I guess that is why I’m the monthly pessimist, right?

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