Personal Narratives

Pressure from adults can be detrimental

May 11, 2023

By Nia Locier
Staff Writer

Our parents are the people we look up to, and they encourage us to be happy and successful. They want what’s best for us and try to care for us. And as we get older and take on more responsibilities, they want us to be fulfilled and excel at what we do. It’s definitely understandable, but they sometimes apply a lot of pressure without even realizing it. 

This affects me because when I hear my mom constantly reminding me to do my work and keep my grades up, I sometimes feel overwhelmed. I understand why she hovers over me when it comes to my academics because doing well in school is important, but most of the time, she only notices the times I fall short. Hearing the same message over and over gets annoying, and I don’t think it is constructive.

My mom went to Arts High School in Newark, where she earned good grades and was involved in extracurricular activities. It is not surprising that she wants me to follow in her footsteps, but students today face different challenges because of our devices and access to social media.

Teenagers are still kids and need space to make mistakes and learn from them.

Parents tend to give advice based on what they experienced when they were younger, but most times, the advice they offer only supports their worldview rather than considering their children’s perspectives. They may try to involve their children in classes, clubs and organizations that they would have enjoyed rather than considering the needs and interests of their children.

Teenagers are still kids and need space to make mistakes and learn from them. Everything isn’t going to go perfectly, and that is okay. For instance, one of my teachers emailed my mom explaining that I am doing poorly in the class. When I got home, my mom explained to me why it was unacceptable to do poorly in the class and that failing isn’t an option. She said I could not hang out with my friends that week. Her intention was to motivate me to pick up my grades, but it felt like a punishment.

She never asked me why I was struggling, but that email remained an ongoing issue in our home. She also took away my phone, iPad and personal computer for the week without realizing that these devices were not the reason for my low grades.

These instances reflect how adults who try to help sometimes make the situation worse. Instead of pressuring their children, parents should help their kids when they are struggling and give them words of encouragement to motivate them. By using our voices, we teens can speak up and assist our parents so they understand how to support us in the most constructive ways possible.

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