March 24, 2023
By Justin Mayewski
Staff Writer
Dealing with the loss of a loved one is very difficult. However, care and compassion from others can make a big difference in the healing process. Here are eight ways you can support someone who is grieving:
1. Be present.
Spending time with a person who is mourning can take different forms. Offer to go shopping, watch a movie or just stay home with them. The activity you do together can be big or small. Being there with them through that process helps take their mind off the loss and gives them the confidence to get back to their previous routines. They might not even know it, but you being there to go out with them is helping to build them back up when you are not there. Think of it like training wheels on a bicycle. You’re the training wheels to help them keep moving but eventually, they’ll continue on.
2. Help them look toward the future.
Looking forward to an event or activity helps a grieving person focus on something other than their recent loss. It could be a birthday, graduation, party or vacation. Whatever it is that they are anticipating, help them realize the excitement and joy it can bring to their lives.
3. Give them space.
A balance of company and personal space is critical. As much as that person needs support and quality time, they also need to be by themselves to reflect. It is unhealthy to run from a loss or pretend it did not happen, so that person will need time to confront the loss in their own way and make peace with the fact their loved one is gone.
4. Encourage them to engage in a new hobby.
While they are spending time alone, it is good for that person to find a pastime they enjoy. Helping them identify a new hobby can be beneficial for their mental health. Having a new hobby also improves productivity, which, in turn, boosts mental health. It may just be a temporary distraction to pass time, or it may stick and become something they enjoy and are passionate about.
5. Listen and understand.
Remember to actually listen and talk to the person about their lost loved one. Sometimes talking about that person and their life can be healing. You could share some laughs and cries, which is good. There is truth to the saying, “Laughter is the best medicine,” as it truly has a healing power.
6. Check in frequently.
Oftentimes people just text the grieving person during the week after their loved one has passed, but grief tends to last a long time. Therefore, check in often and ask how they are. Just a simple text can go a long way.
7. Communicate that you understand.
Expressing sympathy is a good way to show support and offer comfort. If you are able to empathize, that is great. However, be careful with how you show empathy.
Nobody wants to hear, “I know what you’re going through.” Every person’s situation is different, and when they are feeling bad, it is likely they will not want to hear about your loss. In fact, that can make that person more upset. Instead, use what you learned from your own loss to help them work through their feelings.
8. Provide assurance.
Let the person know that everything will be okay. It is important for them to hear those words so they know their pain will not last forever.
Whatever way you choose to help, just remember that you are making a positive impact on your friend’s life. Good intentions and any form of support can go a long way in the healing process.
